Emmett Laurie


 Emmett, about to ask if he can park in Lot 96 on a weekend. We don't know Emmett, but Google does.

Emmett, about to ask if he can park in Lot 96 on a weekend. We don't know Emmett, but Google does.

School of Arts and Sciences
Class of 2020

Major: Political Science
Minor: Mathematics, History, Labor Studies

Hometown: East Brunswick, NJ

C-Team prosecution attorney. Known to speak at uncommon decibels and speeds. Walks around campus with his nose in a book. It's a wonder he hasn't run over some poor freshman. Seems to have confused the Mock GroupMe with Google, which explains the messages we get about classes and parking at 4am. This might be explained by the fact that Emmett is pretty much an 85 year-old man in a college student's body. Seriously, who let him out of the retirement home? Often seen wearing his dad's oversized sweaters, or a plaid suit with a rope lanyard hanging from the pocket. We can't keep up with his style. 

You’re an extramarital affair - I mean - you’re an extramarital MISTRESS, aren’t you?
— Emmett, loudly crossing the defendent